In the Leaves for June

Wedgwood Wild Strawberry Mug
Wedgwood Wild Strawberry Mug

Once again it is time for you to join me as we mystically attune ourselves to the month of June and sip the tea of insight to reveal the leaves of fortune.

The first symbol I discerned was a strawberry, which predicts coming changes in your life and pleasure. Then, there was a car, which means good fortune. This is the month for sitting driving tests, not getting completely screwed by car salesmen and good returns on grand theft auto.

Further along there was a beetle, which is a sign of scandal, followed by an acorn, which means success (as it was towards the top of the cup, this will be financial success). Whoever it is you’re blackmailing is likely to pay up soon. It’s worth exercising caution, however, as the next symbol was an axe, which means possible danger. This was followed by a skull which means death so we can upgrade that to probable danger! Maybe send a henchman, hired mercenary or expendable friend (depending on the scale of your operations) to collect the money.

Next we have a boat, which means safe refuge, so it would be prudent to make sure you can extort enough money to buy a yacht big enough to lay low on for a little while.

Further around the cup I found a fish, which means good things from across the sea, and a daisy which represents happiness in love. Next was a cup, which is a reward for hard work. It seems that you are going to meet someone special on the high seas and, after all of that time and effort spent parting other people from their money and dodging retribution, you can both lie back for a while and enjoy your ill-gotten gains, safely ensconced in international waters.

Finally, we have a gun, which warns of arguments within you family, and a moustache and a square, which means either comfort or the need for caution. How we read this depends on our interpretation of the word ‘family.’ Either you should be tactful and comforting when talking to a relative about their new choice of facial hair or, more likely given the previous advice, a man with a moustache is a mole in your operations. You will most likely have to shoot him before he leads the police to your safe house/boat.

In summary, June will be a risky month for organised crime, but it’s likely to pay off.

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