November for me is a month of bonfires and fireworks so there is no better tea to help me see what it holds in store than a smokey cup of lapsang souchong served in the most garishly colourful mug I can find. My initial impressions of the month therefore are that it will be delicious but in extremely poor taste.
The first symbols I found to steer us through November were a seagull, a drum and a door stop. Birds are an omen of good news (to be expected from overseas with a seagull) and the drum can mean a change of job so if you’ve applied for work abroad you can expect success. Doors predict strange occurrences so a door stop to hold it open it should mean an unusual month. If you’re a fan of the quiet life you might want to think twice about accepting any job offers that come via airmail but the rest of us can prepare for adventure!
Next I was able to make out a heart, a ladder, a raven and a keyhole. The heart means love and the ladder predicts a promotion so this is the month for sleeping with the new boss. However the raven means bad news and the key hole is a warning about the dangers of curiosity so this is not the month to ask about the new boss’ past or try to snoop in locked drawers. Remember that this is a month of weirdness, you’ll need to balance the increase in salary on offer against the time you may have to spend repressing traumatic discoveries (there are also potential ethical dilemmas but the tea isn’t concerned with those at present).
Moving on I found a smiley face, a squirrel and an egg. The smiley face means happiness, the squirrel is prosperity after a hard time, and the egg means success. Hang in there. How much of a hard time the squirrel is referring to probably depends on what you found in the back of your boss’ wardrobe (I knew you’d look, don’t say I didn’t warn you!) but don’t worry. You may have moved far from home and your boss may have turned out to be deeply disturbing but it seems that things will work out in the end.
Finally there was a table, a star and a scythe. The table is a social gathering, the star is good health, happiness and a festive image at this time of year and the scythe is danger. This sounds like an office Christmas party to me. Don’t go. These things are disastrous at the best of times and you’re in a strange land and know things that no one should have to know about your boss. You don’t need my awesome psychic powers to see that this is a bad idea.
So in summary, November will be a month full of exciting career opportunities in exotic lands with only the most minor of mentally scarring setbacks. Stick with it for an exciting time but for the love of god don’t go to the Christmas party.
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