The Ultimate Teamaker

If you clicked on this article in breathless anticipation, hoping that I was going to lead you to some fabled gadget which merits the name “The Ultimate Teamaker,” then I’m afraid you’re going to go away disappointed. But I do have a few ideas along those lines.

The Ultimate Teamaker?
The Ultimate Teamaker?

I’ve used a few of the more newfangled teamakers that seem to be right on the verge of being all the rage these days and I’ve liked them quite a bit. They had some minor drawbacks, but I’m not one of those tea purists who refuses to use them solely on principle. In truth, I steer away from using them because I’m fine with my bare-bones, old-school method, which is to microwave water in a Pyrex measuring cup and steep in a relatively inexpensive gravity-type infuser.

I’ve written several articles on such teamakers, articles that have appeared in these very pages. One took a look at some of the latest and greatest models and another looks at these devices in more of a historical context.

As for the so-called “ultimate” teamaker, I’m sure everyone will have their own ideas on what it should consist of and here are a few of mine. Naturally, it will make any kind of tea or tisane that my wee little heart desires, and naturally it shall adjust time and temperature accordingly so that I end up with the perfect cup of tea every single time. When it comes to tea-making gadgetry, this sort of thing is pretty much a given nowadays.

It would be nice, of course, if I didn’t have to program the device myself. Perhaps it could get its instructions from a barcode supplied by the manufacturer and placed somewhere on the packaging. I guess it would be entirely too much to ask for said device to somehow be able to load itself with the correct measures of tea and filtered water and open a psychic link with its owner to have a cup ready whenever I desire it. And of course, it would certainly be way out of line for me to expect such a gizmo to clean and dry itself and put all the pieces back together, making itself ready for the next use.

But what about inventory control, I ask? After all, if I’ve got a teamaker that can somehow load itself with the appropriate measure of tea and water, is it really that much of a leap to ask it to keep track of my supplies and when they are getting low to connect to the appropriate merchant Web site and place an order? Is that really so unreasonable? And if it’s got all of these capabilities, is it really asking that much more to expect it to do my income taxes? Of is that more than one could reasonably expect from a teamaker, even an ultimate one? I’m just asking.

See also:
Tea Kettle Philosophy — The Perfect Teapot
Teapot Shape Defies Infusers
The Pros and Cons of Bodum Teapots
Is Your Teapot a Dribbler?
Hemisphere Teapots — Out of This World
Teapots, Teapots and More Teapots
My Yixing Teapots
Bevy of Teapots
Little Japanese Teapot
Trying New Teawares — Glass Teapots
Collectible Sadler Teapots
Metal vs. Porcelain and Bone China Teapots
Those Wonderful Amsterdam Teapots 

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