So what does your tea say about you? A recent article in the British press goes so far as to suggest that “your blend of choice may reveal more about you than you’d expect.” Well, maybe it does and maybe it doesn’t. Let’s take a closer look.

The esteemed writer of the piece starts by claiming that there is “a hint of superiority about Earl Grey drinkers” and that Lapsang Souchong is “drunk by the most pretentious of people.” I can’t vouch for either since I don’t know anyone who drinks Earl Grey or Lapsang Souchong.

I’m also assuming that because the writer is British the tea drinkers he’s psycho-analyzing are his fellow citizens. I don’t know enough about British tea drinkers to be entitled to an opinion. But I will agree with the writer when he says that the pinewood-flavored Lapsang Souchong “is a violent insult to the tastebuds.” I’d say the same for Earl Grey but, as always, we all like what we like.

I have to quibble with the good scribe, however, when he says that “loose leaf is for fogeys young and old.” Not to be too snotty about it but I’d amend this to say that loose leaf is actually for those who prefer tea of good quality that tastes good. I’m not saying you can’t find good tea in a tea bag, but loose leaf tea does have a purpose.

I also take exception to the writer’s thoughts on green tea – “Its biggest fans are those who believe in antigravity aerial yoga, super berries and harbour suspicions about clingfilm.” I’m primarily a black tea guy myself, but I’m always up for a good green now and then. As for his assertion that the latter tastes like “diluted stewed sandals,” he’s probably right – but that’s assuming he didn’t take the time to find a decent green tea (preferably that stodgy loose leaf kind) and prepare it properly.

Aside from that, there’s a brief section on lovers of the British brand, Yorkshire Tea (“old fusspots”) and that’s about it. No word on what us black tea lovers are all about, but I’m sure the writer meant to say that we are charming and erudite and all those sorts of things.

See more of William I. Lengeman’s articles here.

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