As August begins, it is once again time to tear open the tea bag of time and gaze in awe upon the leaves of destiny to see what may be revealed to us. While preparing this month’s mystical brew, a lovely chocolatey Keemun black tea, I scalded myself with the water, dropped the teaspoon and spilled tea everywhere. It was certainly an ominous start. So it was with some trepidation that I peered into the cup to instantly see a huge spider. Being something of an arachnophobe, this did not settle my frame of mind, but it turns out that spiders actually can mean luck with regards to money. They can also be a symbol of secrecy, but I’ll try to look on the positive side of that one.
Having calmed myself down enough to look back to the leaves, I saw a monkey, a square, a boomerang and a shark. The monkey can be a warning to think before you act, a square is for protection, the boomerang is, obviously enough, things returning to you, and the shark means to look out for trouble. We seem to have quite a lot of ominous animal symbols this month, so clearly it’s not the best time to visit the zoo. If you do get caught in some kind of freak plague or stampede, be careful when choosing your hiding place and, if you’re cruel to animals this month, expect swift retribution.
Following that fairly dramatic warning, there were two bells, a bicycle and a snail. Bells mean you will soon hear news, bikes can be a symbol of a bad day and a feeling of isolation, and a snail is a warning to proceed slowly. When the reports reach you as to which direction the impending zoological menace is approaching from, don’t just rush out of the door and jump in the saddle — you will clearly end up stranded somewhere unfortunate. Take your time, gather a group and choose an escape vehicle with more than two wheels.
Having made it to the bottom of the cup, I found a basket, a clenched fist, the mathematical symbol for division, a butterfly, and an arrow pointing away from the handle. A basket means abundance, most probably referring to the abundance of wild animals soon to be bearing down on your location. The fist means an argument, so I think we can take the symbol for division to be literal; it is likely that some of your party will strike out on their own after a disagreement. The leaves don’t say whether they make it to safety or not but, as nothing else seems to be looking good this month, I wouldn’t risk going with them.
A butterfly can be fickleness and the loss of money, effectively cancelling out any good vibes from our spider, which now just means secrecy, so you can expect a government cover up once the rabid beasts have dispersed. The arrow pointing in that particular direction means having to tell someone bad news, probably that their loved ones have been trampled during a foolhardy escape attempt.
In summary, August is likely to be fraught with danger and filled with arguments as you desperately try to survive an improbable scenario about which no one will believe you afterwards.
Have a great summer everyone!
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