Those of you who have read some of my previous posts will have experienced my extraordinary psychic gift and my terrifyingly accurate ability to tell the future using tea leaves. Well who am I to be selfish and keep such talent to myself? In the interests of helping my fellow man I’ve decided to do a monthly reading to steer you all through 2011. You can thank me later.
Here are the insights I gained from a very nice cup of green pu erh.
We begin February with a caterpillar. Butterflies are free and fickle so a caterpillar probably means we just have to bide our time and plot our escape for now.
Next, there was a fairly dramatic upside down cow followed by a giraffe. A cow is prosperity through good business sense but cows are only usually upside down for one reason so it might be worth holding off on making any investments.
I had high hopes for the giraffe, it looked quite friendly but it turns out it’s a warning to think before you speak or act. So we’re all to spend the first half of February silently plotting and not trusting anyone with our money.
Things then proceed to get more ominous with an arrow pointing diagonally down towards a letter T. An arrow down means failure of a plan and away from the handle means having to tell someone bad news. If someone with a name beginning with T asks you to do something don’t bother, you’ll only be having to explain it’s failure to them later.
We finally get some good news for the end of February with a fish and a slipper. Fish mean something good from abroad or an overseas relationship going well and a shoe is change for the better. A slipper obviously must therefore mean a relaxed and comfy change for the better involving no effort on your part whatsoever. Sit back, relax and watch your fishy prosperity come to you.
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